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Memorial

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by MessengerOfDreams » July 22nd, 2016, 10:11 pm

I'm standing on my own so that I don't feel anything, because not feeling anything is comforting. I'm dying to be alone because I don't think about other people and what they need, and I barely think about myself anymore anyways. I wonder mechanically what I can do, what will be required of me, how I can be myself, when my thoughts return to you and who you are, how you've evolved.

Perhaps it's my fault anyways for keeping you in a glass case, forever gluing starry eyes to your vacant body. I'm trying to remember what words I wanted to say to you but I don't think beautiful words will fix things we're too drunk to see are broken. Maybe being locked away is dimming our eyesight when we see the light. All these words are running through my head but they're from a foreign language, never escaping my tongue because there's nothing I can't stand like saying things that don't matter.

As you come out again you see me leaned against the post in the star-dressed skies we used to fantasize about like two balloons dying to be swept to the ether but now getting us to fly is the cheap trick. You see me looking far too mundane for someone my glossy eyes can't tell me isn't the most beautiful human being to grace the Earth even still. I'm accepting the fact that all the words I could say will never get you to fall in love with me. I'm working hard to be okay with that. If I drink enough, I know I can forget you again, but I'll always wish you were so close to me that if I could barely breathe it would be natural.

We spend enough time looking at the sky that it starts to matter again, but as far away as the stars are from Earth we may as well be further. I try to smile and hope you see it when you walk in, and by a few more drinks your skin, your hair, your glued-on eyes are a distant memory I will remember again when I wake up.