...
first I actually gotta remember what happened in TRC after chapter 3. O.o
Oyah.
"Language Alert! Language Alert!": show
.
Sam: Now to go to Nicolas' school to talk to him.
Ema: I'm driving.
Sam: Bad idea.
Ema: Name one good reason why.
Sam: How about every time you drive you nearly crash 30 times and you speak like an Auctioner with Tourette's Syndrome?
Ema: ...
Sam: You know, just as a start.
Ema: Get in the car.
Mic: Just a second, let me finish up calling my life insurance agent... yes, I'd like to raise my premium. To a million, yes, thank you. Bye.
Ema: ...let's just go.
Sam: Well let me turn on some radio music to soundtrack our doom. *turns on radio, Taylor Swift plays*
Ema: I love this song! Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone,*steps on gas pedal* ♥♥♥♥ YOU CARS IN THE ♥♥♥♥ ROAD GET THE ♥♥♥♥ OUTTA MY WAY I'M KING OF THE ROAD ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ NIGGA GET THE ♥♥♥♥ OUTTA MY GODDAMN WAY-
*car comes to red light*
Ema: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ GET OUTTA-Oh hey, can one of you call Z100 and request for them to play Owl Ci-
*green light*
THAT'S RIGHT YOU DICKHOLES GET OUTTA MY ♥♥♥♥ WAY OR I BEAT YOU ♥♥♥♥ DOUCHEBAGS EAT CROWN VICTORIA ♥♥♥♥♥
Sam: You...do know we're outta gas, right? And... we're not moving?
Ema: I OWN YOU CHEAP WHO-Oh? Really? And we're here! Let's go in, gents! *skips in*
Buffy: That was like a really bad paranormal attack.
Mic: The Author's not gonna like this.
Author: Oh good gracious, all this ungentlemanly language is certainly unsuitable. *erases language and puts in gentle words*
Ema: We're here! Now let's go talk to Nicolas Lo-
Secretary: Not here
Ema: Goddamnit!
*leaves*
Well, only thing left to do is drive back to the station, right guys- wait, guys?
*Train leaves station just north of Ema at lightspeed*
Ema: -_-
THE NEXT DAY
Ema: Wow, what a beautiful day. I think I'll Ride my BIKE today!
*gets on bike*
Ema: I'm my own woma-*bumps into everyone else in Portland, who all ride bikes*
Ema: Dammit! *throws bike on ground*
Everyone in Portland: *gasp*
Mayor Sam Adams: You... desecrated our god! YOU MUST DIE!
Ema: Ohshi- *runs*
TAKE 2
Ema: Wow, another beautiful day! I think I'll ride my-er, jog today!
*starts jogging*
*Chariots of Fire plays*
Ema: Yes! YES! I've never felt so alive! Oh my god, this feels so goood! Oh! OH YEAH!
*mother covers child's ears, gives Ema dirty look*
Ema: Yes... yes...yeah...whoo...yay... Jesus, I'm exhausted.
*looks back*
*is only 50 feet away from apartment*
Ema: FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU
*drops MP3 player*
Ema: EEK! Oh, good, it's not broken. Okay, let me just pick it u-
*someone steps on it*
Ema:...you son of a ♥♥♥♥♥!
Avo: Wait what the hell?
Ema: YOU STEPPED ON MY MP3 PLAYER! AND WHEN YOU MESS WITH MY MP3 PLAYER, YOU MESS WITH ME, BROMIE!
Avo: Jeez, I'm sorry! I didn't mea-wait... did you say Bromie?
Ema: Yes. Why?
Avo:...the hell did that word come from?
Ema: I think it was Spongebob.
Avo: Haha... yeah okay... that was awkward... anyway...
Ema: Yeah, where was I?
Avo: You were gonna kill me to avenge your music player?
Ema: Oh yeah, thank you sweetie YOU SON OF A ♥♥♥♥♥ YOU STEPPED ON MY MP3 PLAYER!
Avo: Oh sorry! Hey, why don't I take you to the Intel factory and give you a prototype of the newest model of our MP3 players! A $49,999,999 value, yours free! But you gotta call now!
Ema: Sounds trustworthy. Like that prince asking me for help in Ethioasia.
Avo: Ethioasia? That's a country I mean, yep! So just come with me on Sunday! To our factory!
Ema: Sure! Totally!
Avo: Alrighty. I'll bump into you later, okay? *leaves*
Ema: Aw... that's sweet, like how he just bumped into be, you get it? Ah... good times, good times.
Later
Ema: Damn, these cupcakes are the bomb! Chef, what's in these again?
Chef: Tabasco sauce, parsley, strawberry, salt/vinegar potato chips and Red 40.
Ema: Mmm... tastes like Portland.
*phone rings*
Ringtone: I'm an ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, e-ole e-ole, e-ole e-ole, A-SS-HO-LE EVERYBODY!
Ema: *picks up phone* Hey Mic. The hell do you want?
Mic: Why the hell are you at the station? Your fat ♥♥♥ ain't eating more cupcakes are they?
Ema: My ♥♥♥ ain't eating anything. My face is.
Mic: Well, maybe your face is your-
Ema: Whatever. *leaves*
*Benny Hill theme plays*
*Ema goes to bus stop
waits for 1 hour
nothing happens
Ema walks away two steps from bus stop,
bus suddenly passes*
Ema: DAMMIT!
*walks to other bus stop
Millions of fancy new trains pass by,
Creaky falling apart bus picks Ema up
Creaky Bus suddenly falls apart in the middle of the road*
Ema: Dammit! Ah, well. I only got one bus left to take. Bus number 27. When does that come again?
*reads sign*
IT WAS CANCELLED? WHY?
*reads newspaper article*
Ema: ♥♥♥♥ TriMet Board! *waits for another bus*
*bus comes 2 weeks later*
Ema: About... ♥♥♥♥...time. *gets on bus*
*Police Station arrives next stop*
Ema: >_>
*walks into building*
Sam: Just in time, Ema.
Ema:...I'm 2 weeks late. What do you mean just in time?
Sam: Oh? We actually agreed that we would start 2 weeks from now, after we finished watching all 24 TiVoe'd seasons of The Real World. We just watched the part where the gay guy slaps that one annoying ♥♥♥♥♥ in the face, and I totally wanna see if Jenna's gonna do-
Buffy: OMG TOTALLY! AND BRENT? OMG HOT THAR
Mic:
Anyway... I wrote a notice to the other people on Runouw.com, to see how they would react. Take a look.
HEY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
GUESS WHO JUST DIED?
THAT'S RIGHT, YOUR LEADER. RUNOUW DIED. HE GOT MURRRDERRRRRRED! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
TAKE THAT! I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!
...
...
...
...
IN HELLLLLLLLLL
Love, Mic.
Ema: Whatever.
Mic:...go die.
Sam: Now to go to Nicolas' school to talk to him.
Ema: I'm driving.
Sam: Bad idea.
Ema: Name one good reason why.
Sam: How about every time you drive you nearly crash 30 times and you speak like an Auctioner with Tourette's Syndrome?
Ema: ...
Sam: You know, just as a start.
Ema: Get in the car.
Mic: Just a second, let me finish up calling my life insurance agent... yes, I'd like to raise my premium. To a million, yes, thank you. Bye.
Ema: ...let's just go.
Sam: Well let me turn on some radio music to soundtrack our doom. *turns on radio, Taylor Swift plays*
Ema: I love this song! Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone,*steps on gas pedal* ♥♥♥♥ YOU CARS IN THE ♥♥♥♥ ROAD GET THE ♥♥♥♥ OUTTA MY WAY I'M KING OF THE ROAD ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ NIGGA GET THE ♥♥♥♥ OUTTA MY GODDAMN WAY-
*car comes to red light*
Ema: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ GET OUTTA-Oh hey, can one of you call Z100 and request for them to play Owl Ci-
*green light*
THAT'S RIGHT YOU DICKHOLES GET OUTTA MY ♥♥♥♥ WAY OR I BEAT YOU ♥♥♥♥ DOUCHEBAGS EAT CROWN VICTORIA ♥♥♥♥♥
Sam: You...do know we're outta gas, right? And... we're not moving?
Ema: I OWN YOU CHEAP WHO-Oh? Really? And we're here! Let's go in, gents! *skips in*
Buffy: That was like a really bad paranormal attack.
Mic: The Author's not gonna like this.
Author: Oh good gracious, all this ungentlemanly language is certainly unsuitable. *erases language and puts in gentle words*
Ema: We're here! Now let's go talk to Nicolas Lo-
Secretary: Not here
Ema: Goddamnit!
*leaves*
Well, only thing left to do is drive back to the station, right guys- wait, guys?
*Train leaves station just north of Ema at lightspeed*
Ema: -_-
THE NEXT DAY
Ema: Wow, what a beautiful day. I think I'll Ride my BIKE today!
*gets on bike*
Ema: I'm my own woma-*bumps into everyone else in Portland, who all ride bikes*
Ema: Dammit! *throws bike on ground*
Everyone in Portland: *gasp*
Mayor Sam Adams: You... desecrated our god! YOU MUST DIE!
Ema: Ohshi- *runs*
TAKE 2
Ema: Wow, another beautiful day! I think I'll ride my-er, jog today!
*starts jogging*
*Chariots of Fire plays*
Ema: Yes! YES! I've never felt so alive! Oh my god, this feels so goood! Oh! OH YEAH!
*mother covers child's ears, gives Ema dirty look*
Ema: Yes... yes...yeah...whoo...yay... Jesus, I'm exhausted.
*looks back*
*is only 50 feet away from apartment*
Ema: FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU
*drops MP3 player*
Ema: EEK! Oh, good, it's not broken. Okay, let me just pick it u-
*someone steps on it*
Ema:...you son of a ♥♥♥♥♥!
Avo: Wait what the hell?
Ema: YOU STEPPED ON MY MP3 PLAYER! AND WHEN YOU MESS WITH MY MP3 PLAYER, YOU MESS WITH ME, BROMIE!
Avo: Jeez, I'm sorry! I didn't mea-wait... did you say Bromie?
Ema: Yes. Why?
Avo:...the hell did that word come from?
Ema: I think it was Spongebob.
Avo: Haha... yeah okay... that was awkward... anyway...
Ema: Yeah, where was I?
Avo: You were gonna kill me to avenge your music player?
Ema: Oh yeah, thank you sweetie YOU SON OF A ♥♥♥♥♥ YOU STEPPED ON MY MP3 PLAYER!
Avo: Oh sorry! Hey, why don't I take you to the Intel factory and give you a prototype of the newest model of our MP3 players! A $49,999,999 value, yours free! But you gotta call now!
Ema: Sounds trustworthy. Like that prince asking me for help in Ethioasia.
Avo: Ethioasia? That's a country I mean, yep! So just come with me on Sunday! To our factory!
Ema: Sure! Totally!
Avo: Alrighty. I'll bump into you later, okay? *leaves*
Ema: Aw... that's sweet, like how he just bumped into be, you get it? Ah... good times, good times.
Later
Ema: Damn, these cupcakes are the bomb! Chef, what's in these again?
Chef: Tabasco sauce, parsley, strawberry, salt/vinegar potato chips and Red 40.
Ema: Mmm... tastes like Portland.
*phone rings*
Ringtone: I'm an ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, e-ole e-ole, e-ole e-ole, A-SS-HO-LE EVERYBODY!
Ema: *picks up phone* Hey Mic. The hell do you want?
Mic: Why the hell are you at the station? Your fat ♥♥♥ ain't eating more cupcakes are they?
Ema: My ♥♥♥ ain't eating anything. My face is.
Mic: Well, maybe your face is your-
Ema: Whatever. *leaves*
*Benny Hill theme plays*
*Ema goes to bus stop
waits for 1 hour
nothing happens
Ema walks away two steps from bus stop,
bus suddenly passes*
Ema: DAMMIT!
*walks to other bus stop
Millions of fancy new trains pass by,
Creaky falling apart bus picks Ema up
Creaky Bus suddenly falls apart in the middle of the road*
Ema: Dammit! Ah, well. I only got one bus left to take. Bus number 27. When does that come again?
*reads sign*
IT WAS CANCELLED? WHY?
*reads newspaper article*
Ema: ♥♥♥♥ TriMet Board! *waits for another bus*
*bus comes 2 weeks later*
Ema: About... ♥♥♥♥...time. *gets on bus*
*Police Station arrives next stop*
Ema: >_>
*walks into building*
Sam: Just in time, Ema.
Ema:...I'm 2 weeks late. What do you mean just in time?
Sam: Oh? We actually agreed that we would start 2 weeks from now, after we finished watching all 24 TiVoe'd seasons of The Real World. We just watched the part where the gay guy slaps that one annoying ♥♥♥♥♥ in the face, and I totally wanna see if Jenna's gonna do-
Buffy: OMG TOTALLY! AND BRENT? OMG HOT THAR
Mic:
Anyway... I wrote a notice to the other people on Runouw.com, to see how they would react. Take a look.GUESS WHO JUST DIED?
THAT'S RIGHT, YOUR LEADER. RUNOUW DIED. HE GOT MURRRDERRRRRRED! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
TAKE THAT! I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!
...
...
...
...
IN HELLLLLLLLLL
Love, Mic.
Ema: Whatever.
Mic:...go die.
