Short Stories

[Venexis]

Bump. No, but really, this was the only topic for short stories I could find, and it's kind of a parody of Redlink's random chat stories, so... I post it here until I feel like doing enough pieces to warrant my own story topic, right?

Anyway, the story itself: Revenge of Venexis
*^{It's all copypasta'd word-for-word from the chat archives, and since I had to go to page 89 to find it, I hope you'll all forgive my lack of syntax and stuff. Sorry.}

Once upon a time, there was a guy called Venexis, and a different guy called Redlink. Redlink went and wrote a story about Venexis dying, and that angered him a lot. Venexis pulled his darklord blade from the bedside dresser where he kept it, and twirled it deftly though the air, marvelling at the inky blackness of the blade; black for the souls of the innocent imprisoned within. Venexis didn't look it, but he had the strength of a Knight Elf Mohawk, and also the second greatest hair in the world, but that doesn't affect the story in any significant way. Calmly striding to the door, Venexis summoned a ball of dark magic and blasted it off the hinges. He had a grudge to settle, and it would be done.

Striding through the night air, Venexis allowed his Cloak of Disception to flap idly behind him. The wind also ruffled his second greatest hair in the world, playing over his eyes. This had the unfortnate outcome of distracting him just enough to stumble slightly on a passing beetle, but the beetle in question didn't remain there long, having been blasted out of realit only seconds earlier by another dark magic sphere. Venexis closed his eyes, concentrating upon his inner demon, allowing it to guide him due north, to where Red surely hid in fear of his coming demise. Summoning all his strength, he imposed his will on the world and the cityscape dropped off violently to the left, to be replaced by a barren tundra. In the distance the dim outline of a foretress could be seen silhouetted against the setting sun.

Rage had taken over now. Each step hurtled Venexis closer to Red's foretress by hundreds of feet. There was a score to be settled, and one way or another it would be paid in blood. Smashing his blade into the wall, Venexis didn't bother knocking, preferring instead to idly blast a hole in the wall. Obviously Red would be at the top of the structure, what self-respecting man would hide in th basement? Wrenching his blade out of the wall, he walked into the dark interior, eyes glowing with the intensity of solar flares. Crossing to the far side of the room, Venexis began to climb the stairs to the top. Of course, simply warping there would've been easier, but this had to be done properly (that's just how it is with these things, go out and rent the last Harry Potter movie and see how intent Lord Voldemort is that Harry be killed by none other than himself. It's the same deal.) At that precise moment, the staircase exploded beneath Venexis' feet, plunging him straight down to the unforgiving stone below. "You can't defeat me, the Ultimate Overlord of Storytime!" Red shouted from somewhere high above. "You cannot hope to match my stunning sentence structure and amazing word usage!" Twin red pinpricks appeared opposite the room, and for the first time, Venexis knew fear.

“So, this is how it must end?” Red taunted from the shadows, his glowing eyes mocking the world. “Yeah, I guess it is,” Ven whispered, launching a ball of darkness at Red. “Goodbye… friend.” Red’s eyes flashed, and appeared behind Ven. Raising his demon-wrought Blade of Untimely Demise, he aimed a fatal blow at Ven’s head. Ven twirled into nothingness, leaving behind his Cloak of Deception. Red’s blade tangled in it, before tearing the fragile, reflective fabric to shreds. “Wait!” Red cried. “Something’s not right. Saxxy, get out here! And play us a lively tune for a final battle!” Sax began playing Final Countdown and Red threw his demon blade at Ven. Completely distracted by the abrupt soundtrack change, Ven only barely dodged in time. The blade sliced past his shoulder before embedding itself in the far wall. Cracks spiderwebbed outward, and the wall shattered. Ven picked up his darklord sword, now stained with his own blood, and launched himself both mentally and physically at Red’s red-eyed figure. Shards from the destroyed wall moved as one with Venexis’ blade in a maelstrom of destruction. Suddenly… “Halt.” The voice was unfamiliar. Both turned toward the opening in the wall. There, in clothes that glowed with the radiance of the setting sun was another. “You can’t really think Red was the mastermind behind your death, Venexis. No. That was me, the Master of Iambic Pentameter, Jello.”“What?” Red, asked, confused. Jello continued, “Oh yes, it was brilliant. I’m the only true storyteller here on runouw.com, and I can’t have you two usurping my title, now, can I?” Seizing hold of a power far greater than either Red or Ven could’ve hoped to match, Jello fired stanza after stanza of fiery doom upon the building. What remained of the building now was still violently burning as Jello strode toward the center to examine his work. Two charred corpses littered the floor amongst the fragments of rock. Clearly, neither had been able to prepare an attack in time. Turning his back on the scene, Jello closed his eyes and concentrated, appearing on an unfamiliar alien world. It was done.