How was your day?

[Venexis]

This post by Venexis was thumbed up by: 2

Killswitch (July 17th, 2015, 10:01 pm) • MICrophone (June 21st, 2015, 11:57 am)

[Raz]

First I woke up at roughly 5AM and took a shower. It was a pretty uneventful affair.

Next I ran with my new greyhound for about 10 miles, because it was a nice morning after a rainy day and running is the ♥♥♥♥. Turns out this town is super ♥♥♥♥ at owning pets because some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥'s dog scared my dog. No one scares my dog, so I ♥♥♥♥♥ at the owner for being irresponsible. That didn't stop me, because I love going fast, but sometimes I have to stop and deal with ♥♥♥♥ too.

Anyways once I got home I took another shower and got ready for school. I know right, look at Raz being all school 'n' ♥♥♥♥, actually prepping for school. So I had my mom drive me to school, because I can't drive yet and I don't like the anxiety I get on buses, and got to school. School was pretty laid back today as it is our last day of having our normal schedule before we have our finals schedule. I got a bagel while waiting in the cafe and talking with my friends, a large portion of them are which are here because they're Super Seniors who are here after their last day (monday.)

First period starts, and I spend the time sleeping because it's a study (study hall, whatever) period and studying for finals is preposterous.

Second period starts. Pledge of allegience and morning announcements are on Studio 19 ("news" thing run by students, a few episodes along with other things our school does here. Most of my closest friends are in it so it's neat.) We check out our books to read over the summer, for people who are taking Honors Humanities we have to read two books and write two thingamajigs on them. We spend the rest of the period rehearsing for the play we had to make based on a poem. We did the poem "Out,Out" by Robert Frost, but I wanted to do "Ballad of Birmingham." It's about a kid around the industrial era who gets his arm cut off and dies. My teacher and I argue a lot about the meaning of the poem and how I think it's a negative poem describing the lifestyle around that time and how the family moves on quickly because they understand how only the strong ones live during this time. She instead thinks the poem is trying to say that Robert is trying to say that the family moved on quickly and stayed strong in a positive way. I'm fairly positive I'm right but I think it's one of those things that were left open for the reader.
ANYWAYS, we modified the play so it's modernized and it's a very very dumb play where I play the sister of the kid who gets his hand cut off. We bring him to the hospital and then we take him off life support because he would've died eitherway. It doesn't really make sense but my favourite part about it is how someone in my group had the genius idea of using a electric metronome they use for band as a heart beat monitor. That's all I really like about the play though.

Period 3 starts, Canine science. We reviewed diseases in dogs and what's on the final and discussed classes we take next year. I get the honor of feeding the animals in the kennel because the Vet Science class in the two periods (vet science course takes 2 periods) beforehand all graduated, and I'm the only one who has experience. I discuss with my teacher stuff about my dog-and while I'm at it this is incredibly important to the story but I have amazing pets and they're better than yours

my true family: show

This is lucy, she's amazingly smart, and my other best friend.

This is Noah, he's who I run with and my best friend. And sophie is the black thing. She's not trained well because I didn't train her but my mom likes her so whatever.

Fourth period, Spanish. ♥♥♥♥ spanish and whoever thinks high school courses for languages are a good way to learn a language is wrong. We spend the entire period doing the second to last of our billion SMAs. At least we don't have an actual final.

Fifth period, Geometry. My entire class is full of idiots who think it's the teacher's fault they're failing. Me and my friend are the only ones in the entire class who have a grade higher than a C because we actually seek help instead of complaining about how the class is a joke. Maybe you're the joke, student who keeps repeating the fact that the class is a joke over and over.

Sixth period, lunch. I play air hockey with my friend using my phone as the mallet (genius, I know.) because I don't care if I get scratches as I have a god like screen protector. I use this time to use every piece of junk in my backpack so that I don't have to go through it later. I used all kinds of things that don't even make sense as a puck like broken pencils, pieces of giant erasers, or a whiteout thing. I used a calculator that was broken as well.

Seventh period, biology. I have had a ritual of saying Happy Birthday to the same friend of mine everyday the entire school year, so this is the very first thing I do when I get in the class. We finish an essay on what Darwin's greatest contribution to science was and how did he make it. (there were 2 other questions we could also answer but I don't remember them.) I probably wrote mine wrong because I wrote WHY the contribution was the greatest contribution and I never really stated how he made it. She called us up 1 by 1 to do a lab practical on microscopes. I failed it because I couldn't figure out any of the phases of mitosis because the slide she used was ♥♥♥♥, I swear. Then she made us say the part of the microscope she was pointing out and I did miserably. She pointed to the nose piece and I had no idea so she just gave me a hint and said "It's on your face." So I was like, it has to do with my glasses right? Nope. Nose. Of all things. I also got into the staff wifi this period but that's not important.

Eighth Period, Gym. Literally just a period for us to take pictures on the track because since it was our "last day" and we don't have a final in Gym we can just do whatever we want.

Finally I got home, went for about a 5ish mile walk with Lucy because she still needs to get used to running. Got home, tried to play Mario Party with FRIENDS, failed to do that. After like 3 hours or something we went out to eat at a chinese food restaurant. Great food/10. Then I yelled at my mom for not knowing how to pick out the best dog food. There's a whole load of other things you need to look for, but if you're buying dog food make sure the first three ingredients in the list are something containing protein and NEVER any kind of "___meal" or "___ by-product." Also ♥♥♥♥ Purina.
Then go home, play a bit of PayDay 2, watch youtube, write this post while watching youtube, and now I go to bed.
Also this

Spoiler: show

the power of autoclickers and leddit.

[~MP3 Amplifier~]

(really guys do you just not have days? Wake up in an existential void for 24 hours, repeatedly?).

Lol okay this single line has motivated me to talk about my current day-in-progress.
(only reason I don't always post here is cos my day is most often revolved around anxieties, weird moods and intrusive thoughts which I didn't think you guys would like to read about)

But let's see anyway.

So for once I actually managed to wake myself up on my own accord which is surprising, even if it was 1pm.
I spent most of the first few hours just being totally lazy and then I remembered that Starbucks are doing 4 new limited edition flavours that run out within a matter of days, and being the compulsive orderly person I am, I HAVE TO TRY EACH FLAVOUR. So I went out and had a cookie dough one, nothing special, it was chocolate-y cookie goodness in a frappuccino. I'm more interested to try the cinnamon one next. <3

But of course, as I am 'blessed' with a 24/7 mindset of overthinking and paranoia, first I had to convince myself that all the bad irrational feelings running through my head at the thought of going out were totally wrong and never gonna happen ever. Only it didn't really improve things, I also had to convince myself that having a 500 calorie frappe wasn't going to kill me and it's not like I was gonna have that specific drink ever again, it's limited edition ffs. But I will admit it was hard. Since the middle of April in particular, ever since I had some kind of harassment from a guy I knew ironically, my eating has gone really downhill. I've been having very little, for basically a month I just lived on liquids and I had one or two weeks of fairly regular eating because of how much I had to go out to see family, or to go to a music concert etc, and that triggered me badly enough to go back to just a yogurt and an apple a day, sometimes an egg or some steamed vegetables if I want to sleep.

It also doesn't help that my best friend basically has relapsed into her 5 year old eating issues, and as much as I hate to say it, it's made me really competitive to make sure I lose more weight than she does, which is ♥♥♥♥ stupid to be honest because I'm basically underweight already, but not enough in my eyes... :/

Yeah I'm a bit ♥♥♥♥ up.

On a brighter note though, I'm going out soon to buy MORE fat free yogurts Muller light goodies do 3 flavours- lemon & meringue, strawberry & white chocolate, and vanilla & milk chocolate. They're gonna be so useful to have around.

And on a non-food related note (which is hard to do, considering my entire life is basically controlled by stupid anorexia), I am seeing my friend tomorrow. <3
I'm so excited and there are other reasons as to why I'm excited too, but not ones that I'm particularly confident enough to talk about here. But the point is, she's cool.
I'm not looking forward to another long road trip but hey, the day's not exactly going to waste.

A little insight into my life I guess...

[MessengerOfDreams]

I haven't posted here because my days have been ♥♥♥♥ BORING

♥♥♥♥ having no money on the week off

[Supershroom]

Lawl there's not pretty much to tell about my days in particular but more about the week in total.

The past two weeks have been very eventful and difficult due to my ♥♥♥♥ tailbone fistula op, due to which I was very restricted both in mobility and mentally, with also having bad sleep because the thing kept itching and hurting, and diarrhea due to all the stress affected with the healing process. It was kind of hard keeping up with college and ♥♥♥♥ because I've been unmotivated to death, I've just kept distracting myself.

Meanwhile I'm on the mend luckily, but yeah these are the times when you learn to esteem daily and trivial things such as walking and standing up when you can't / have pain from all of a sudden. I hope I'll be back soon with regular activity on Runouw.com and I'll also find time to read the previous posts.

[Harmless]

I haven't posted here because my days have been ♥♥♥♥ BORING

this

not to mention being stranded off the internet for a while

[darthbrowser]

This a few days late, but I got kicked out of my aunt and grandmother's due to my aunt's bipolar flashes. I'm back with my mother, who is religious fanatic of the fundamentalist strain. It isn't fun, and basically my life sucks now.

The nice thing is that the tiny apartment we're in is right next to the financial district, so I'm trying to find a job so I can be away for the rest of the summer.

But what hurts me is that I don't love her, but she loves me. She suffers from bipolar as well, and is either ranting about God to my great exhaustion, and fighting me about the course of my life, or being very kind to me. It hurts me because I don't love her, and I'm sure she knows it because I'm cold to her. It makes me feel awful when she does something nice and I just don't respond because that's who I am.

If she died, I wouldn't cry, or feel very much at all. The same goes to everyone I've ever known who's alive today.

And that really hurts me, because I know how much she cares about me.

I don't know why I'm so cold, and it's justified on an intellectual level - her beliefs are sickening, and I need to get away from her and the rest of my family as soon as I can to succeed in my own life. But what I have to do makes me feel awful.

Very unstructured, I know. But I'm very tired and these are my thoughts today.

~ Thoughts of a dying atheist ~

[WickedOreo]

Well, my day, and particularly this month has been brutal on my life.

My mother kicked me out of the house back in March for a few days, and then in late May because I didn't do anything around the house. I've been working almost full time at my local Wendy's and juggling the last month of my high school life. So, for a couple of weeks, I stayed over a good friend of mine's house, with the anticipation of finally moving out of my mother's domain once and for all. Early this month, coincidentally on the last day of school, I moved into my current residence, which is a transitional program for teens such as myself to learn how to live independently or who are homeless.

So far, life outside of school is a bit upsetting, as I cannot get much done in my life right now, though I've been told that I have done a lot, like registering with the Housing Authority and signing up for food stamps and health insurance, but everything seems so little, so worthless. I could do better, but I'm just not there yet. Perhaps it's my lingering depression. Last week, I began taking antidepressants for chronic depression, and I feel considerably better, but what? What is my life currently? There was a schedule that I grew accustomed to, and now I don't have it, except for work, which changes on a dime frequently.

Today was the first day in a month that I didn't have anything planned at all. Actually, that's a half-lie. My significant other of two months planned on being here today, and then didn't come over (he lives an hour to the west of me) because of the rain, and it didn't even rain at all here. So, I was quite upset for a greater portion of the morning and afternoon, and eventually settled to play some Risk of Rain/Towerfall Ascension/Crypt of the Necrodancer with my upstairs roommate, who made me feel better about today, since it kept me occupied for several hours.

I guess that I have tomorrow to look forward to since my SO is supposed to visit, but I have little hope of anything coming to fruition due to me being angry about the plan changes. A close internet friend of about 6 years is coming to visit in a couple of weeks, so now I must plan for that as well. Hopefully, I won't have to deal with a calendar day on my phone being completely blank again. Anyway, I must retire since it's late. Goodnight and good day.

[Kimonio]

Had a lovely panic attack on the way to eat at a restaurant with my family. Ended up they drove me home and went to go eat alone by my own wishes.

Then out of pure anger and hatred at myself and my psychological problems, I grabbed an ax, went outside, and chopped a tree down. Something I've never done before. I'm both proud of myself for actually achieving something, but I'm disappointing that I can't live like a human being without curling up into a nauseated ball of skin and wanting to cry. Not even talking to myself or coaxing myself out of it helps, my body just shuts down until it feels safe again.

I'm trying to find a way to change and heal. I just don't know how. These days I just pass the time writing, drawing prints, and trying to learn code just so I have some way to be able to get employed in this craphole of a woodland county. My mom was looking into a school for my brother to go to upon graduation, all the way in Dallas. From what shes told me, they have a satellite college there, and the job saturation is....amazing.

When my next appointment with my doctor rolls around, I'm definitely going to see about finding some way to treat my GAD. This is literally becoming unbearable, I can't live my life without emotionally shutting down in fear of nothing.

On a good note, though, I fixed a broken flash drive and soldered my first circuitboard. I'm rather pleased with myself. <3


But yeah, just expect pretty much any of my days to be filled with anxiety. I'm a rubber ball on an uneven floor. I have no set pattern.

(Also my hands are covered in blisters now and hurt like ♥♥♥♥, but that's a trivial dilemma and does not matter.)

[MessengerOfDreams]

Today was a day of defining conversations and extensive poetry